THE FIRST ANNUAL BUNNYSHOP OSCAR FASHION REVIEW!!

The capitalization thoroughly deserved for this very exciting day! Er, early morning!

It would be so nice if we could do this entire posting in little made-up categories. That might be too ambitious at this hour, but we will try:


The BS Award for Best Dress
A much-deserved tie between Hilary Swank and Halle Berry. Does anyone else think that when Hilary Swank said she was just a girl from a trailer park, some people [who had not read the Vogue should-have-been-cover-story-instead-of-that-ridiculous-Trump-porn-with-the-hideous-dress piece] thought she was talking about her character?

We thought since she's pimping for Calvin Klein underwear maybe she was wearing him — plus it's such a classic, minimal piece, in that very Calvin-y navy. But nope — it's apparently Guy LaRouche.

And Halle Berry looks super svelte in whoever it is she's wearing.

Also! Haven't found images of it yet but the Giorgio Armani Prive she wore for "Vois Sur Ton Chemin," the song from The Choristes was gorgeous — plus the amazing eye shadow and those gigantic earrings! Made up for the bizarre, gargant-o diamonds for the


The BS Award for Disturbing Refusal to Let Go of Ex-Boyfriend's Style
Anyone else notice that Renee Zellweger's Carolina Herrera dress was red and white? Sigh. BS can't even remember if RZ and JW are on or off, but BS prays it is off, because RZ is an extremely beautiful woman who needs to separate bad romantic decisions from bad fashion decisions.


The BS Award for Dressing Like My Former Guidance Counselor, a Much-Beloved 59-Year-Old Woman
Drew Barrymore. The only word for this dress is pudding. And by the way, when Bunnyshop was a wee bairn, her godmother would give her a little bell each Christmas for the family tree. Apparently Drew Barrymore has stolen them and turned them into earrings. Barf.


The BS Award for Utterly Boring Black Dresses By Ingenues Who Should Be a Little More Daring
Too many to name. Kirsten Dunst, love the hair, hate the Chanel dress. Scarlett Johansson, whatever. Hate the dress. Even if it's Roland Mouret. But did enjoy the priceless reaction shot of the technical award to the French guy who pronounced the name of his film "Air-ee Pah-teur."


The BS Meh Award
Gwyneth Paltrow. Beautiful hair and make-up + unexciting Stella McCartney dress divided by 2 = meh.


The BS Award for We Know She's Supposed to be the Next Big Fashion Icon But Come On
Emmy Rossum, in Ralph Lauren. Just. Can. Not. Do. It.


The BS Award for the Prettiest Dress ... From the Front
If she never turned around, this Oscar de la Renta dress might have ranked as our favorite. But like some sort of shape-shifting Martian — Penelope turns and reveals a hideous bow! Destroyed!


The BS Award for Favorite Actresses in Yucky Dresses
Oh, Laura Linney. You know that Juicy Tubes stuff from Lancome that makes their lipstick super glossy? It looks like Laura Linney spackled that to her hair. Terrible hair. And bad necklace. Bad J. Mendel dress. Good God, are those feathers at the bottom? And Cate Blanchett — BS has a feeling lots of people are going to say they loved the Valentino dress, which, to be honest, BS did as well, sort of, but did anyone else notice that somehow the yellow fabric and her matching hair makes it look like she has a lemon souffle on her head? And that crimson band felt more cummerbund than ribbon-y band to us.


Final notes:
- Is Gisele pregnant? Would there be any other reason for this Dior muumuu?
- Is it us or were Julia Robert's baby-feeding boobs so gigantic that she actually tottered under their weight?
- We don't mean this as an insult, but: Was Miss Piggy modeled on Barbara Streisand? They tilt their head exactly the same way. Love the necklace, hate the sheer sleeves on the gown.
- Is it possible Oprah's Vera Wang dress is actually made of gold?

Spare the Uggs. Spoil the Shopper.

As we watch the snow tumble endlessly, cruelly, to the ground, Bunnyshop is reminded of one thing: How much she hates Uggs. She also hates the cold. Uggs, cold, Uggs, cold, Uggs, cold. How could one possibly choose between these two evil, evil entities? As heinous as the cultural implications of Uggs are, however, they appear to be very warm. This is an unhappy conflict.

Two things: Snow encourages people to purchase boots. Spring sales encourage people to purchase boots. So that no one will be encouraged to buy Uggs, Bunnyshop would like to suggest the following snow-resistant boots — on sale and pleasingly un-annoying.

Lovely riding boots from Prada. Not that you'd let a horse anywhere near your $519 boots.


The John Varvatos boots have buckles in unexpected places. $297.


Equally tough, with a squarer toe. Wondering if squarer is a word. Miu Miu, $435.


Even tougher. These are boots that we'd give to Shane if we were costuming The L Word. Dolce & Gabbana, $559.


And finally, from our Project Runway judge, the Marley from Michael Kors. Check out the ultra-chunky heel. $143.

By the way, if you're thinking something like, boy, that Bunnyshop sure is stupid, we'd never take our Prada boots in the snow, BS says, well, maybe so. But surely the best thing to do would be to wear them out, wear them crazy, wear them in hail, snow, floods, bullfights. It's that "good china" argument. Good china is a bad idea.

Maybe you noticed the write-ups were a little shorter than usual. This is because the argument against Uggs should not need to be a lengthy one.

One-Stop Shopping: Urban Outfitter's Home Department

This is where we see how much stuff we could get from one store with an amount equal to the cost of our first car ($1400).

We're pretty sure we could get a complete living room set. Because the thing is, we may love shopping, but we really hate spending one. Spending money in one place means you only have to put the credit card down once, which is psychologically pleasing, even if it's a giant scam you're playing on yourself.

We quite like Urban's furniture selections. It's like ten steps up, aesthetically, from most of what we see at vintage shops, and only like two steps up, price-wise.

Moving on:

Bunnyshop dreams of the day she will say to her friends, "Would you like to have a seat on my seating unit?" rather than "Would you like to sit on my drum stool? Or perhaps this lovely egg crate? Or we could sit side by side on my yoga mat!" Bunnyshop has a big empty space in her apartment where she dreams she will one day install a sofa — and this extremely reasonable option from Urban Outfitters would do just fine. $780.


Sorry this picture is so annoying — but you get the idea. We actually like the white one better, too. Sigh. We still love the chair. $220.


Bunnyshop has an antique chandelier in her apartment that her landlord warned her was not in the best of shape. She fears it will fall on her face as she sleeps. This one would make for a more than workable substitution. $98.


This fringe panel could be the kind of thing where you put the receipt in a very safe place, because even as you're buying it, you're realizing that you may hate it, very much and very soon. But we'd love to see if this could magically transform our studio into a one-bedroom, and allow us to go to sleep without being haunted by the specter of all those plates in our sink. $48.


This "wall art" screams Urban but we still like it. And if you squint you can make out a lion! $36.


Everyone needs a nice, normal bookshelf. This may be it. Will provide excellent storage for half-empty 20 oz. Diet Cokes, microwavable pot pie boxes, and scores of books we have yet to finish. $140.

Total: $1320!

Project Runway is Dead. Long Live Project Jay.

Jay's show was brilliant. That's all we can say. We want to wear all of it, particularly the crocheted blue poncho with the hand-beading. We want the ice queen \ alien make-up, the blue tights, the blue beads, the blue headphones, all of it. And his color palette was amazing. Bunnyshop raves, because Bunnyshop loves. Jay McCarroll. We're only sad because we must give him to the world, instead of keeping him as our little secret crush.

And we love his small-town house, and his small-town family, and his small-town sense of alienation, particular to people who have gone to middle school in small towns.

Sigh. Jay! Please send us a special outfit so we can brag about how we talent-spotted you at least two or three weeks before everyone else.

We're Broke. But Somebody Needs to Buy This.

That's what we get for switching our (paltry) checking and (practically non-existent) savings accounts to another bank — available cash measured in coins. But someone, somewhere, needs to buy these ultra-reduced items from J. Crew. Now J. Crew, we know. Sometime soon, some clever filmmaker is going to do a scene with four middle-school girls sitting in a cafeteria with their J. Crew catalogue, discussing the validity of naming colors "cantaloupe" and "persimmon," and that filmmaker will be hailed for nailing suburban adolescence, circa 1990. But the truth is they make terrific outerwear, and it's now triple reduced.

Here's a small story for your reading schadenfreude. Once upon a time, Bunnyshop interviewed for a summer internship with J. Crew. Now, as she had been one of those middle school girls trading periwinkle for jasmine, she wanted this internship more than she had wanted any internship in the history of time. The call did not come. The call did not come for many days, but Bunnyshop persisted, believing there was no way J. Crew could have interviewed a candidate more dedicated to J. Crew's current and continued success than herself, and she left increasingly desperate voice mail messages on one miserable wretch of a woman's answering machine for two weeks.

Bunnyshop went home to New Jersey, and spent the summer assisting 10-year-olds with the purchase of bicycle helmets.

We're not going to hold it against J. Crew.

This dress is so Audrey Hepburn that Bunnyshop saw it and said to herself, "Wow. This dress is so Audrey Hepburn. Probably no one else was clever enough to pick up on that." Then she saw its name, "Audrey strapless dress." Sigh. Marked down from $195 to $129.95.


Cashmere for $59.95, down from $128? That's fine with us. Consider it an investment in not being cold. Here's another story: When Bunnyshop returned to her apartment after Christmas, it became clear that — as with the banking disaster — Bunnyshop mistimed the return of her bedding and was faced with a night lacking any sort of comforter, sheet, or towel. She slept in a black J. Crew cashmere sweater and survived intact.


Suede utility jacket. Would wear this every weekend from September to Christmas. Almost half off at $129.95


Flip flops! Okay, nothing special. But nothing special for $2.95 is special enough.

Warning! Do not delay! Even as Bunnyshop was typing she missed out on the furry-hooded toggle coat, and she is pissed.

Today's Top Fashion Headlines

- Reports from the Prada and Armani shows in Milan, plus an FWD story where Ms. Prada is referred to as "Miuccia" throughout

- Last-minute Project Runway previews here, here, here, and — shockingly — a Wendy defense here

- Ha! Fonzworth Bentley's "Gentleman's Movement" continues unabated with a new show on BET, co-hosted with America's next Next Top Model, Eva Pigford: RIP THE RUNWAY. We're assuming that's "rip," not, like, "rest in peace"

- Bunnyshop would like to admit that she just had to fix the spelling of F.B.'s name, which she had somehow convinced herself was "Farnsworth." BS had missed the Happy Days shout-out of it all

High to Low: The Spring Trench

Trench coats make us feel like we're Dana Scully, it's 1999, and millions of fan boys are in love with us. But it's 2005, and these colors are even nicer. We'll set about saving the world \ bearing alien children \ making out with David Duchovny presently.

Tocca makes the most beautiful coats we've ever seen. And we're still in love with green. Before we box ourselves into rhyming this entire column, we'll just say this one above costs $179.


We're not slaves for Burberry but this coat is what we would wear if starring in our own remake of My Fair Lady. $750.


Rebecca Taylor can be a little frou for us, and we're torn about the leopard detailing. But at the moment, we are pro-frou. And it's pale yellow, not cream, and we're thoroughly pro-yellow. $525.


This is such an excellent Kenneth Cole trench. Mesh lining means that we're betting it doesn't get sticky and hot inside. The color is the color of spring. $189.


And we love this option from Banana Republic. It's lightweight. As perhaps is clear, we get stuffy in big coats. So lightweight is cool. And we mean that in more than one way. Ba-bing!

A President's Day Salute to America(n Apparel)

The whole aesthetic is just so, so pervy — enough underage girls in their underwear, fashion merchants of America! — but we'll still buy American Apparel — and now, we present our favorite purchases in some sort of loose shout-out to, er, President's Day. Is it weird that we think their advertising campaign is so gross and yet we love their clothes so much? Has American Apparel completely outsmarted us?

We want to put a picture here of the Hot Short, which is so excellent Bunnyshop actually hiked up a dress to show them to Honey Bear, but doing so would mean adding a picture of [an even more] nubile youngster in panties to her website, and that's just too morally quease-making. $12.

We've read how AA wants to become, like, the Gap of the 21st century, and we support this, but don't they have a long way to go? Seriously, all they make are t-shirts and various items made of cotton jersey. Where are the sweaters? Confusing.


Not confusing: we love this rainbow shirt, even if it fits a little like a loose, rainbow-striped sausage casing. $28.


We almost feel pervy putting up these shorts. Why does everything here look like it's from the costume department of å Todd Solondz pedophilia movie? See how small they're cut (natch) — we bought two sizes up, and they're not quite so pervy. $20.


This shirt looks totally basic, but we saw it in a shop and came back every few days, trying it on and annoying the sales staff. It's perfect in its own unique way. $29.


And finally, the gold standard of tank tops. Why would we blow the bank on James Perse when these satisfy us in every way, at $16? It'd be like trading in a thoroughly excellent boyfriend for a thoroughly excellent boyfriend who had the unfortunate habit of stealing cash out of your wallet.

Today's Top Fashion Headlines

- Snarky Jennifer Lopez runway report. It feels very 2002, just writing her name, but we appreciate the snark nonetheless. Mercury News registration required.

- The tragic end of As Four. You know how sometimes you don't bring the wedding gift, so sure you are that the marriage isn't going to last the year?

- The latest diffusion line, with Nicole Miller pimping — er, designing for JCPenney. We were going to make a joke about Michael Kors doing Sears, but he's almost there already, isn't he?

Barney's Warehouse Sale — Report #1

This is a picture of a riot. This is not an accurate visual representation of the Barney's warehouse sale, but it does suggest the correct emotional tenor.

Like a twice-a-year Christmas for NYC shoppers, the Barney's warehouse sale is equal parts myth, fact, and barfy crowd-control crisis. Here are some of today's best buys:

So much Marc Jacobs. So much Marc Jacobs we're wondering if any of it is actually selling at anything near retail. Including: a pink sueded cotton jacket marked down from $459 to $215; a pink slipdress with beaded arrow and heart marked down $348 to $165; and that MJ black coat with the metal buttons that would be awesome if it weren't half a step from qualifying as the chicest marching band uniform overcoat ever, marked down to $255. Also the furry-hooded heavy duty winter coat, marked down $535 to $255.

Our favorite sighting was undoubtedly the ultra-sleek black pencil skirt from Theory, $175 to $75. V. Secretary.

Plenty of DVF print-y things, including a ruffled skirt half off at $89.


And oh dear, the most beautiful two Zac Posen dresses. The Ice Dress (left), marked down from $1600 to $250! And the Ripple Dress (right), marked down $3200 to $800. Sigh. Claire Danes, bah. Where are the designers who want Bunnyshop to be their muse? Jay McCarroll. Call us anytime, you brilliant thing, you.

Coats were just okay, cashmere was gorgeous if you don't mind paying $200 for a sweater, and shoes, as always, were heartwarming. Including: Blue and white patent \ suede-y mix from Narciso Rodriguez, $580 to $230; pink silk Christian Louboutin, $625 to $250; and green silk Manolos with a strange metal cuff, $795 to $315.

We recovered from shopping hysteria with a shot of Diet Dr. Pepper and Jujubes and left happily empty-handed. We did see two topless girls. Why is the coat section at the Barney's warehouse sale only slightly less naked than a locker room?

Theme of the Week: Stupid Indulgences

Bunnyshop was just reading about the post-Valentine's Day suicide spike, for which she completely blames makers of greeting cards and television movies, and she realized that perhaps one solution to late-winter anxiety would be warmth. Even expensive warmth. Especially cashmere warmth.

The theme of the week, for some reason debuting on Friday, is stupid indulgences, or products we can't afford and don't need but would still love to own. For example, we don't need this Brora cashmere blanket. We have wool blankets, and a $79.99 duvet from Macy's. Even if we were going to spend $400 on something we didn't need, it would maybe be a dog, or a single bar of gold, or a moon rock. But this gorgeous, gorgeous blanket. Someday, like the moon rock, it will, without a doubt, be ours, and we will wrap its happy stripes around our shoudlers and pat our dog's head as we stroke our single bar of gold, and all will be right with the world.

Trend of the Week: Recycled Books

We love these the way we love design-savvy restaurants with vintage French school maps on the walls.


First, from La Voleuse, their "Literate Handbags," with smart bows and ribbons. The site says they're unavailable, but the last time we stopped by the amazing Forward, a few were left — and they were on sale.


Next up, from Ex-Libris Anonymous, these adorable $11 blank notebooks, one-of-a-kinds made from actual vintage books. These are what we would have carried around in middle school if we'd been more cool \\ less weepy \\ less concerned with stalking Knight Rider-era David Hasselhoff. Bunnyshop would like to add here that she only ranked as the secretary of the DH Fan Club, so intense was his fan base at the Crim Elementary School.

Bravo Loves Money!

Ugh, the Project Runway bitch-fest was so boring that BS is not even going to get into it. The one thing BS will take from it is that Nora is apparently very, very funny — who knew after that whole tantrum episode? — and now she wishes she had talked to her at the Yellow Fever show last week, if only to get her to do the impression of Alexandra (whom Vanessa called "Alexandria") again.

Anyone interested in Vanessa' interview with popgurls.com can find it here. Note their post-show defense of the piece at the bottom.

Project Runway: A View to a Shill

Bunnyshop: Your 24-7 Project Runway news source. First, a write-up in the NY Times which will contain little information for true fans, except that we are all "hip, young, and gay." Sigh. If we had the energy, we'd make an argument about marginalizing the show and how nobody puts Bunnyshop in the corner, but whatever. There was one excellent preview quote courtesy of Vanessa Riley, whom BS quite enjoyed and didn't think should have been thrown overboard after the whole "I'm to blame, blame me, I'm terrible" etc etc, which BS actually thought was fairly reasonable. The quote, to Wendy: "We were all really nice to you because we felt sorry for you because you're such a terrible designer and like, a mother of however many children and you live in the middle of wherever." Strangely, the piece did not use any of the contestant's last names. Huh? Is the Times using the Survivor Style Book?

Note that Vanessa didn't mention Wendy's age. BS is so weary of Wendy's age. In part two of our PR coverage, Wendy said on this morning's View, when asked why she didn't get along with anybody: "I was a different age." Wendy was 39 when the show started. Vanessa is 34. Kara Saun, who's brilliant, is 37! And God knows who old Russian-bride-seeking Kevin Johnn is (somewhere between 34 and 44.) Wendy's problems are not about age. Wendy's problems are about confidence. Wendy showed off a new haircut \\ contact lenses on the View, and talked about her candy bikini, which we know all the judges hated. (Viera et al asked Kors, and he was just like "There's not a lot of clothes there" i.e. sucks, sucks, can't believe Nancy O'Dell picked this woman, sucks.) We were going to write something about how Wendy's the villain at the end of the movie where you think the villain's dead, and the camera goes in real close on Wendy and you realize she was the villain all along. Wendy, be nice. Be nice. Jesus.

Couture Clash

Oh, we wish we'd stop punning. But in the big-news-especially-if-you're-feeling-the-whole-nautical-thing category: Jean Paul Gaultier's mini-line for La Redoute. They're v. French. They don't mind the nautical stripes. They seem to embrace them. Weird, we know, but Jean Paul Gaultier for under fifty bucks? We're into it. It's like Lagerfeld for H&M without the shrieking magazine staffers wielding shivs beneath their skim lattes.


And love, love, love these stiletto mules. $54.99. You know the porn nurse on the cover of that Blink-182 album? These are her shoes.

What the hell is La Redoute? They're part of Pinault Printemps Redoute, which also owns Gucci, YSL, Balenciaga, and Stella McCartney. And they're really French, not faux French like Au Bon Pain, which in the midst of that whole freedom fries madness proclaimed their native-born status in explanatory Xeroxes taped to the windows. Thus endeth our researching efforts for the day.

The Project Runway Code-Share Continues

Fellow Project Runway obsessives, don't miss the Post's photo-rich story today on Jay (best), Kara Saun (good), and Wendy (whatever). It sucks that the online version doesn't have the super good runway pictures they have in the print version, but if you're local, pick it up.

We're watching PR on Bravo — the envy episode — and Nora just said that Wendy told her "[Wendy] doesn't have any more chances in life." It's not that we dislike Wendy. It's just that she makes us want to die. And Vanessa just said, "Wendy believes this is her last crack at fashion." Could the PR producers have been setting us up all along for a Wendy victory??

Jay is so going to win. We want to say that now, and then when we're right, someone needs to tell Jay about his BS fan base and we can all throw him a party and he can do all our outfits.

PS We're so excited to see the bitch-fest episode on Wednesday. Taking votes now on who "walks out."

Our Very Favorite Day Of The Year

As they say in New Jersey: Shaaaah. Bunnyshop can remember any number of tortured Valentine's evenings, walking lonely through Manhattan streets, contemplating throwing herself off the Manhattan Bridge, embracing every cliche of the single-New Yorker-female except the cats mewling over her dead body, sprawled across the bathroom floor.

But Bunnyshop says no. Bunnyshop says bah. Bunnyshop realized (a) that she knows happy people and she knows sad people and (b) that being in a relationship seemed to offer no indication of into which category a person would fit. And she realized that, in fact, being in a relationship seemed to provide moments of stress that single (free, unburdened) people would never have to experience. Including the exchange of Valentine's Day presents.

And Bunnyshop also remembered perhaps the happiest day of her life: her fifth-grade going-away party, thrown by two of the most popular girls in her class. They brought the tapes, and BS sang the songs, in particular, "The Greatest Love of All," as loudly as she could. She decided, long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadow. If she fails, if she succeeds, something something she believes. The greatest love of all's inside of she. Indeed.

So screw it. Let's buy ourselves gifts. Let's buy ourselves these gorgeous necklaces from Bing Bang. Because when was the last time something you bought yourself was disappointing? When was the last time you thought, "Hmm. This is quite practical. Maybe he's not attracted to me anymore." Or "Hmm. This is quite cheap. Maybe he doesn't love me anymore." Or "Hmm. This is quite expensive. Maybe he feels guilty because he's cheating on me." Who needs that? Nobody. Who needs necklaces? Everybody! It all works out.

Buy This Now: Passport Covers from 11:11

Alternately titled: We Did Not Expect To Spend $16 on a Passport Cover Today, But So Be It.

Bunnyshop had the unpleasurable experience of spending more money than she would have preferred today. How much should a lunch consisting of macaroni and cheese plus a juice cost? Possibly less than $8.13? Yes, it should cost less. Bunnyshop hates, despises, that feeling, singular to the occasion of being given an absurdly high total due by a cashier. (Actually, it is similar to opening one's Sprint PCS cell phone bill and observing that the total due is $583, and knowing that even though they are wrong and idiots it is going to be half an hour chatting with a Sprint PCS representative before this is fixed, and Bunnyshop is going to miss half of Law and Order: SVU, which was, irritatingly, to be the highlight of her day.) This was the feeling Bunnyshop experienced when informed that her mac + cheese (plus juice) cost $8.13. She did not know it was organic. She did not know it was possible for mac + cheese to be organic.

Digression, digression. There is a corollary feeling to the one described above, and that is: discovering something so lovely and perfect that even though you did not plan to buy, say, a passport cover, today, the passport cover before you is so excellent that it cancels out the feeling of dismay about spending unplanned money. It is so perfect that all you can do is admire it. So you will not get Japanese delivery tonight. You love cereal! And this freaking unbelievably excellent passport cover, from Brooklyn design group 11:11. Thriller-era Michael Jackson. And his tiger? This may be the platonic ideal of the passport cover. And we like one with roses, and the world shot, too. $16 well, well spent.

PROJECT RUNWAY SHOCKER!!!!

You heard it here ... er, last, thanks to the real-life Project Runway interlude below. But thanks to Bravo's endless pimping of the show — and we mean sincere thanks this time — Bunnyshop witnessed, at 3:28 PM EST, the shocking dismissal of uber-dandy Austin Scarlett from the Project Runway ranks. Austin, our favorite lip gloss-wearing, mascara-enjoying fashion-centric Gatsby, you'll be all over Page Six before you know it, and then you'll have some big collection, and then you'll be accused of doing lots of drugs in club bathrooms, and then you'll do a diffusion line at Sears. It will all be okay.

Though we did enjoy the online snarking that your declared age of 22 is ... misleading.

In other PR news, the show will soon debut in the UK and France (in search of sponsors, as Banana Republic currently fails to translate as offensively inoffensive office clothing outside the US. Ah, who are we kidding, half of our clothes are from Banana).

Project Runway: Real-Life Edition

As much as she prefers a night at home watching television to pretty much anything else, Bunnyshop figured it was important that she attend at least one of the many fashion shows she RSVP'd to, and found herself at the Yellow Fever show at the Hiro ballroom at the Maritime. Bunnyshop did not expect the room decor to include a contortionist woman suspended from the ceiling by a sheet. Bunnyshop did expect that if you are going to have one contortionist woman hanging from the ceiling, you should have two, because having one just looks like you ran out of money.

Anyway, distressed as she was that she missed tonight's episode of Project Runway — and she was distressed — Bunnyshop was delighted to see, across the room, none other than Project Runway-ex Nora, who was immediately identifiable by that strange little mullet-y hairdo. As much as BS would like to report vomiting or stage-rushing or something by Nora, all BS saw her do was stand around watching the show.

Speaking of the show: More nipples than expected. Lots of nipples. Bunnyshop is waiting for the fashion designer who just sends naked girls down the runway, maybe with little dollar sign stickers over said nipples. Is it hard to titillate an audience with half-naked Amazons in boy shorts? It's not exactly calculus. But Vincent Gallo, who styled the show, did provide an amusing video introduction, which touched on the whole gossip-y Yellow Fever thing. (Briefly: swimsuit model Audrey Quock (whom Gallo termed "a miserable wreck of a girl") reportedly broke Yellow Fever designer Jamison Ernest's heart to such a degree that he produced t-shirts that read "My Ex-Girlfriend is a Cunt" and "Orgy Kwok Loves to Suck Dick.")

And okay, here's the question about the picture above. The model on the left, in the Yellow Fever t-shirt, is Anne V., the Chanel model who's also Ernest's current girlfriend. But, Project Runway fans, does the person on the right look like anyone in particular? Hmm?

We'll Call This New Column "High To Low"

Do you like that? Would it have been better if we punned? Ah! Let's call it: Gold Rush. Much better.

Moving on, Bunnyshop was just alerted to the possibilities of gold sandals, a possibility that occurred to her with the clarity of a bell ringing. Bunnyshop makes a habit of buying shoes too small, or too large for her, because they were on sale at Century 21. She keeps them in the shoe-keeper thing that hangs over her closet door, where they mock her silently, fully aware that she is still paying off the bill for the Master Card she bought these ill-fitting shoes with. She would drown them in the river if she could, but she holds on to them, mindful of the fact that perhaps her feet will one day grow or shrink one full size.

But: gold shoes. What could be nicer? The one pair of nicely-fitting shoes Bunnyshop owns happens to be a pair of black Banana Republic sandals, which she has worn with a number of inappropriate dresses — for example, with a floaty green chiffon-y dress, or jeans and a white and gold top. Gold sandals could solve endless problems. "High to low," by the way, refers to the idea, poorly executed, that there are a variety of sandals here at different price levels, and ideally they would be listed from high to low prices. But it turned out to be too much work, and besides, we wanted to start with that sweet Kate Spade option.

Therefore, our top five ... in no particular order, sadly.

1. The Kate Spade "Helen" sandals, above, are what we would wear if we were, er, Helen of Troy, but it was present-day New York. We would wear this with something v. drapey from Sophia Kokosalaki and think about how rich and Greek we were. $255.


2. This may be the quintessential gold sandal. Of course, it's Jimmy Choo. Of course, it costs more than three months of health insurance. This is when we start getting envious of the British and their universal health care and how all those English girls can buy all the Jimmy Choo sandals they want. $460.


3. This is a nice, normal option from the nice and normal Nine West. The "Farideh," $69.


4. Century 21 had these on sale for $35.99, and we just barely talked ourselves out of buying the wrong size when our desired 8s were unavailable. But we discovered that we can buy them direct from Chinese Laundry's website for $59, and it's probably worth the $34 to buy shoes we will be able to wear.

Purchase Of The Week: Stationary

Bunnyshop has a mental disorder, one which is specifically limited to the mailing of letters. Well, other things, too, like rent checks and tax forms, but it is particularly problematic with cards. Because they don't get mailed. Bunnyshop recently discovered a birthday card intended for her godson's third birthday. The child is now five years old. In her backpack are two postcards, for the godson and his wee brother, that have neither been stamped nor written.

E-mail is not a substitue for letter-writing. Here is a transcript of a recent e-mail correspondence between Bunnyshop and a former roommate:

dude? thursday?
dunno
need 2 buy tkts now
dude. don't know.
your fault if sells out
dude. pls.

And don't even get us started on IM. Bunnyshop believes — she is not sure, because she has never sent a birthday card prior to the recipient's actual birthday, but she believes strongly that there are likely only three steps to mailing letters:

1: Having cards on hand
2: Having stamps on hand
3: Depositing stamped cards in mailbox.

How easy! How concise! So little effort, with such expansive results. What do we say? Let's start a revolution. A revolution of letter-writing. Think how lovely it would be if everyone reading this sent a note to some nice person. For example, Bunnyshop is going to write a thank-you note to the wonderful, wonderful manager of the sushi restaurant near her apartment, without which she would eat only cereal and raisin toast for dinner, every night. And perhaps he will feel compelled to write a kind note to his dry-cleaner. People. This will be just like Pay It Forward, without sucking. It will be magical. Join us. Tell us who you mail, and we'll mail you a note. This is going to be thoroughly excellent.

The boxed notes above, from Elum Designs, have stickers. Stickers!


Have you seen the ads for the new show on A+E? Intervention? With the shopping addict? Yeah, Bunnyshop's a little freaked out by that, because she has the weakness. For example, she once convinced herself that spending $400 on calling cards was a perfectly rational thing to do. She didn't, but if she could, she would, and there's no doubt that they'd be from anywhere but Smythson. These notecards are $40. Which is much less than $400.


We've often thought how much we'd like for movie theaters to have some sort of smell-o-vision, where you could smell what's going on. The reality is that is a terrible idea. But cards? That's an amazing idea, that unfortunately we did not have ourselves. But Jack and Lulu did. These are scratch and sniff. We almost can't believe it.


We also found these on the terrific design site urbanstyle.com. These cards from Unique Artistry have fringe. These are the kinds of cards we would make ourselves, if we had the time, money, ingenuity, stick-to-it-ive-ness, and work ethic. We will be forced to purchase them instead.


Believe it or not, we've been crazy looking for things with engraved cows on them. Oh, that sounds ridiculous. But it's true. And these cards from the Victor Trading Co. are exactly what we wanted. We are quite sure that this is the kind of adult-onset dementia that will end in like 500 cow figurines, cow pot holders, cow welcome mats littered throughout our apartment.

Project Runway: The Final Apologia

We thought we were being v. fancy and smart, calling Bravo out for airing the penultimate episode of Project Runway after this weekend's Bryant Park show — thus allowing to any fan with (a) a computer and (b) a modem to figure out which three contestants made the finals. (As per the Fashion Wire Daily interview with our favorite, Jay McCarroll.) But Bravo, home of Celebrity Poker Showdown, has outsmarted us.

From the AP: "Supermodel-host Heidi Klum explained that only three of the four aspiring designers would be seen when the show's finale airs Feb. 23. Klum didn't want the media to be the spoiler for next week's episode, during which one of the four will be sent packing."

So "media" includes "bloggers." Derr. Also included in this recommended, comprehensive piece of reporting that had Bunnyshop read would have prevented her from making alarmist, incorrect statements about apparently sufficiently clever television producers was (fellow Bravo star) Carson Kressley's pick for best designer. Let's just say that we were v. pleased.

We are really going to stop talking about PR for at least 24 hours.

Fashion Week Update: Project Runway Alert

Okay, so obviously Bunnyshop should have called this site projectrunwayobsessive.blogspot.com, but forgive, forgive. Bunnyshop knew there'd be a problem, since Bravo hasn't yet aired the episode where the final three are selected — and thus given the runway slots at the tents. That episode is Wednesday. However, the show is today. And judging from his interview with Fashion Wire Daily, our lovely Jay has triumphed into the final three. In fact, Bunnyshop thinks Bravo should just completely trash the next episode, because everyone knows that there's no way Weepy Wendy and her pleated shorts made it to the finals. The best part is that on the Project Runway site, there's a teaser for the next episode that reads "Who will trip up on our Red Carpet Challenge?" and a picture of Wendy. Subliminal, much?

Fashion Week Begins. We Celebrate With Chanel.

After a rather intensive dentist's appointment this afternoon, Bunnyshop was kind of staggering around the Times Square Sephora in post-Novacaine daze, trying to apply lipstick to the numb half of her lips, aggravated because she had been instructed to neither eat nor drink for an hour, and she was very hungry and thirsty. But something made that pain go away, and that something was the Chanel spring makeup. In particular — now, let us be clear. Bunnyshop hates lip gloss. Primarily because her hair gets caught in it. But Bunnyshop may have found the perfect lip gloss, a pink — a pink! — shade that appears to look good on even olive-colored skin. (It's called Satinette, and it's a purer pink than it looks on the website — trust us, it's lovely.) Bunnyshop may have been fooling herself, and Bunnyshop may still have been high on some sort of undisclosed dental hallucinogen, but Bunnyshop is pretty confident about this. Also because BS has finally accepted the fact that dark lipstick makes her look vampy, and not in the Renee-Zellweger-cover-of-W vampy, but hooking-in-front-of-the-Shoprite vampy.

Buy it at Gloss for $24.50 And if anyone in NYC needs a calm, reassuring, excellent, honest dentist, please e-mail Bunnyshop immediately. She owes her dentist for kicking him in the shin after informing her she needed a chipped filling replaced.

TOTW: Conquering Miserable, Assy Winter, Pt 6: Spring! All About Spring!

Is it us, or does Bunnyshop have a touch of the seasonal affective disorder? Bunnyshop has just about had it with February, which is unfortunately only four days old. But Bunnyshop will persevere, and despite the fact that there is about $80 in Bunnyshop's checking account, Bunnyshop is going to spend about half that on bringing home this extremely springtime-y lighting ... er, garland from the MoMA store. Once home, Bunnyshop will court death by climbing on top of bookshelf to hang said garland, and to finally replace the dead lightbulb she has ignored for a year, because it requires removing one of those terrifying lighting fixtures, the kind that threaten to crash on Bunnyshop's face while sleeping, precariously attached, as it is, to the ceiling.

Bunnyshop could maybe use some anti-depressants, but she's been hearing on Court TV how that makes people extremely insane, and she will make due with Diet Coke. And this new lighting garland.

TOTW: Conquering Miserable, Assy Winter, Pt 5: Project Runway wrap-up

RIP, Robio. We are sure you and your "Women are like classic sports cars" mantra will go far in the fashion industry, dominated as it is by horny heterosexual men.

Okay, so this is just the unluckiest shot of a model who probably doesn't usually look like she just peed in her pants. Ignore the model, and examine Kara Saun's freaking excellent furry-lined postal service vest. Bunnyshop is still rooting for Jay, and we loved his vest as well, but it was hard to see the detailing after he put it on Austin, who won our little bunny hearts by modeling it. Bunnyshop does not like competition, but we will be bidding on Kara Saun's postal service outfit and maybe using the drawstring pants as a tablecloth or something.

TOTW: Conquering Miserable, Assy Winter, Pt 4: Salute to Project Runway

Are you watching this show? No? Because it's on Bravo? Because Bravo sucks? No, no, no, no. Bravo may suck — what's up with the endless Celebrity Poker airings? can somebody please write Dave Foley a new TV show? — but Project Runway does not. Project Runway is amazing. Project Runway requires its contestants to be creative and forward-thinking, and not just creative and forward-thinking about how to get their tits on TV.

We're rooting for Jay. Jay, Jay, Jay. Not just because he's from Pennsylvania, an excellent place to be from, but because he's funny and seemingly self-aware, perhaps the most elusive quality for members of the fashion industry. And also because we love the Jay McCarroll large tote and the sunny detailing.

TOTW: Conquering Miserable, Assy Winter, Pt 3: The Best of the Winter Sales

For today's sale review, we have sifted through thousands — thousands! — of the items involved in the Bluefly winter sale, for your quick and easy review. We love the sales, but we love them the way we love our cat. Our cat only has three paws. He's a disabled cat. We can't expect everything from this cat we expect from a cat with four paws — for example, full jumping capability. But this cat can also kick many other cats' collective asses. Is this metaphor working for you?

Our top five, with an eye toward purchases we'll be wearing through April:

1. We're not fools for Prada (top picture) but this bag is deliriously beautiful and a refreshing change from the black nylon thing. Okay, not a huge change, but it'll suffice. Love the shape! $589.


2. We read that everyone should have a signature color. We would like yellow to be ours. Like lemonade. Lemonade: It's therapy in drink form. This Tahari skirt says summer, Country Time lemonade. We are slaves to advertising, apparently. $109.


3. Love this Tocca coat! We'd never take it into this dirty, dirty world of ours, but we'd be content to hang it in our closet and periodically admire it. $199.


5. We're over the whole '80s bat-wing sleeve \\ Flashdance thing, but we adore this Diab'less double-layer shirt. $84.95.


4. We were torn about these for a while, before deciding they were cute, not ugly. And yellow! Solving problems globally.

TOTW: Conquering Miserable, Assy Winter, Pt 2

We'd think from the number of free-spending fashionistas in our yoga class — love the Juicy cashmere pants! v. true to the whole spirit of the thing! — some clever crafty beaver out there would sell them some sleek, streamlined yoga bags. (With little Fendi logos on them, maybe.) But no, these Juicy-clad headstanding yoginis are carting around mats in sub-chic bags (always, always in one of the holy trinity of yogic colors: purple, turquoise, or kelly green. Or ... batik!) We feel terrible for them. But we are being smug, v. unpleasantly smug, because handstands terrify us, headstands trouble us, we get a little cramped up standing upright and we spend savasana making up grocery lists. But, thanks to a particularly lovely person, we were also lucky enough to be the recipient of one model from perhaps the only stylish line of yoga bags ever produced, and we snicker, ever so slightly, in between periods of deep, endless insecurity. Still, the bag is perfect, even if our Trikonasana never will.

This is the city bag from agoy in "hot fuchsia," which seems redundant, but okay. Approximately $80. Fuchsia is an all-purpose winter-killer, like chest-openers. Our yoga teacher says "chest-openers" like she never noticed how that sounds like a piece of autopsy equipment. Bleck!

Agoy is yoga spelled backwards. It took us three weeks to figure that out.